Christmas, I’m On My Period Edition

My best friend accompanied us down for Christmas this year, so we have a full house. Lucky for everyone, we’re both on our period! #hormones  #bloated #NSYNC

To be accurate, we’re both pretty much done at this point, but instead of posting about my period I’ve been binge-watching Arrested Development with my family and farting up a storm. Because of the #fullerhouse, I’m sharing a bed with my mom, so I have to hold my farts in all night to spare her! Because I’m so #selfless.

The only restaurant open in my mom’s nabe last night was The World’s Most Mediocre Indian Restaurant, at which we spent the entire meal attempting to convince ourselves of the edibility of the food in front of us. We might’ve succeeded were it not for the roach that scurried across the carpet toward our booth in horrifying pursuit as we were waiting for the check. We were the only customers there, but somehow that made our shrieking and leaps onto the booth all the more embarrassing in front of the restaurant staff. Literal actual PTSD.

I thought I was going to write more but as it turns out, it’s 12:18 AM already.

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The Wire af

streetdrugs.png

I know the internet wasn’t at its most developed in the early 2000s, but I’m pretty sure The Wire‘s budget was significant enough to have better production value than this.

Also, here’s an exchange between two cops:
“What was he doing with that thing in his hand?”
“Probably sending a text message.”

Damn, that’s 2002 af. Can’t wait to see how dated Breaking Bad looks in 2025.

This morning on the train I met a family of tourists from Wyoming and I was like, “Wyoming’s not a myth?” I wanted to ask them if they helped elect He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to office, but then the mom mentioned that she was from Vermont and I was like “Not only is Wyoming not a myth, but The One and Only Democrat of Wyoming is also not a myth.”

Surely something interesting must have happened to me since the last time I wrote – my mom came into town over the weekend, after all – but all I can think of is that I’m on a Law and Order: SVU bender while I knit Christmas gifts for everyone on my list. My life is so fascinating, they should make a TV show about me.