Seeing as New York is *on trend* right now because of that bomb and stuff, and seeing as I live here all the time even though it sucks almost all the time, sometimes writing about all the shitty things that are so ridiculous they would only happen on The Onion makes it feel a little less horrible and more funny (like, the other day when I was riding my bike home from work an ACTUAL REAL LIVE RAT leapt from a construction site and started SPRINTING NEXT TO ME LIKE WE WERE GOT-DAMNED EXERCISE PARTNERS! In these moments, you truly lift your head to the heavens and say, “Hey, God? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”).
So I write in this blog, which may not always be comedy considering how annoyed I am all the time, because I need the practice. Feel free to critique, throw pies, fart on my pillow, or send me potted plants.