Election Day

For all of you fuckheads who somehow got through life so far with the understanding that your vote doesn’t count:

This is an elementary fucking concept, and by elementary I mean you literally learned it in elementary school. No one is saying that your stupid vote counts – alone. That’s the whole goddamn point, dummies! It’s the collective that matters. Every dumbass in this country that forfeits their vote rolls up to one giant, hairy asshole that has forfeited its vote to DONALD FUCKING TRUMP, a fellow giant, hairy asshole. So good fucking job.

I’m not trying to get into the specifics of the electoral college and the inevitability of corruption in the voting process. I’m talking about this weirdly obtuse concept that “statistically, my vote doesn’t count,” which obviously is the reality of the situation – like I thought everyone knew that? It’s just that if you and a hundred other people say that at the same time, it’s no longer true. And that’s the whole thing about voting.

So STFU and vote! You only have three more hours left, fuckers!




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