Conversations had between three fab ladies while attending a house show where no women were asked to perform (aka most shows, aka the whole music industry):
- Getting head hairs stuck in your butt crack or front crack, and the subsequent satisfaction from pulling them out
- What pegging each of the individuals on stage would be like, and whether or not this is something we’d want to do
- When and where it is acceptable to drink unlimited Lime-aritas (the beach, and everywhere else)
- Farting and blaming it on the dog
- Farting and blaming it on someone else
- How can I fart at this house show because beer makes me gassy
- Why do dudes not notice when there are zero women on stage? Why do dudes not notice when all the women in the room are in the audience? When I was the front person of a band, the sound guy often assumed that I was the backup singer (despite being in the literal front of the group) and put the volume on the mic lower than the violinist, who sang backups (but was a dude). My friend who was the only woman in a touring band got harassed constantly and her bandmates were so oblivious that they never thought to tell dudes to fuck off. People always assumed that she and the front person were dating each other. Etc. Etc.
- How many times do we need to spill Lime-arita on ourselves before it’s necessary to wash our clothes
Some dude left the GOT-DAMNED seat up before I went into the bathroom and I made a big fuss because I was like a Corona and a half in. Luckily for women everywhere he literally ignored me even though the whole room was watching.
I can tell that I’m still relatively frustrated by this whole thing because I’m having trouble making any jokes about it. I mean, this is one of the reasons my desire to be a musician has vacillated so much over time. I have wonderful, talented friends who are working on their music careers, but they’re almost all male. The few female musicians I do know have male partners who are more well-known (but not necessarily more talented).
More on this later, because I’m getting grumpy now.