What should I be for Halloween?

screen-shot-2016-10-23-at-10-09-09-am
Either Google’s gotten Freudian af, or more women work in Google Search than I thought

Here are some costume ideas floating around in my head:

  1. Slutty Donald Trump, aka Donald Trump
  2. Male Hillary Clinton, aka our country’s most qualified presidential candidate to date
  3. Kim Kardashian’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that everyone thinks is funny for some reason
  4. French policeman wearing burkini, secretly loving it
  5. White, cis-het male playing a trans woman in a movie
  6. Rey from Star Wars action figure, oh wait those were never made because action figures of women aren’t marketable
  7. Live-action Mulan’s white (??!?!?!??!?!!?!) love interest
  8. Mulan, because apparently white people can play whoever they want
  9. Autism contracted from vaccines, because that definitely is a real thing
  10. Sexy minion, cameltoe sold separately                            tumblr_nwabp6omiu1rith1uo3_r1_250tumblr_nwabp6omiu1rith1uo2_250
  11. Al Jolson’s ghost walking around the set of In Living Color, looking really ashamed
  12. An abortion at 9 months, aka a baby
  13. A New Yorker who Doesn’t Really Care about the bomb on 23rd Street
  14. Someone who had a mental breakdown from staring at Marina Abromovic for too long
  15. A woman whose cheerful smile is punctuated by a pulsating vein in her forehead
  16. Hot dog (or leg)
  17. An Englishman who voted for Brexit and Googled “What is Brexit” afterwards
  18. A soft-butch ex-motorcyclist who is inexplicably straight (aka me)
  19. A botched makeup tutorial
  20. A lady opening a Kombucha over a trash can because she accidentally shook it up running to Soul Cycle class
  21. Rachel Dolezal’s weave
  22. NASTY WOMAN

Have y’all seen Moonlight yet? Go see it, right now

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