HAPPY HALLOWEEN BITCH

This morning my train was delayed over half an hour, aka over thirty minutes, aka I could have watched a full episode of The Big Bang Theory and had five minutes to ponder why I watched a full episode of The Big Bang Theory.

More on the topics of: having no control over anything in my life, everything is unnecessarily difficult in this city, the subway is actually a haunted house/mental institution ~

On my way to the James Blake concert last night, in case the abatement of baking garbage smell wasn’t enough to hint the arrival of Halloween month, a mom and her three children tumbled onto the train and decided to subway surf right next to me despite the train being completely empty aside from another woman, whose muted expression of horror mirrored mine while each child, in turn, came dangerously close to falling on each of us.

Oh, sure, children almost falling on you. NBD! Except for one of the girls had literally just lost a tooth, and a streak of actual human blood on her mouth and chin was somehow not the main concern of this family, who could literally have sat anywhere on this train but decided instead to stand while all sharing one soft pretzel. If I wasn’t so alarmed by the possibility of being touched by the saliva-and-blood-drenched hands of this little gift from God, I would have admired her daft subway surfing, her devotion to the soft pretzel, and her indifference to the literal blood coming out of her face. It was pretty hardcore.

Meanwhile, I’ve come home early from work today and I’m skipping choir because my stomach was hurting (a fortunately infrequent occurrence for me these days, although I spent most of spring and summer in stomach-related turmoil due to the anxiety of living in America’s best-lit garbage dump), so I might be writing more than one blog post this evening.

 

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