Unfortunately, it’s with something I’ve already done before but with variations – I’m making banana bread but vEgAn. Not by choice – my broke-down bitch of a sister doesn’t have eggs or butter or anything that normal humans have.
Because it’s vegan, this banana bread is dedicated to all those dudes who act like eating animals is a social justice violation. The word speciesism exists, folks, and it’s out to show you that white men have a lot of room in their asses for their heads.
Another indication that my sister is busted as fuck is that when I reached down in her “food drawer” to grab her bananas, they ALL broke off by the stems. Not like, one banana that was too heavy and overripe to stay on. All of them. This bitch.
Anyway, the part it where I stick it to the vegan dudebro:
I’m sorry I allowed this repugnant image to be viewed by anyone but myself.
And this one too.
The recipe I was looking at was from the BBC so all the measurements were in weights, so I had to convert everything (but who has time for that, so I mostly just threw shit in). I put flour and baking soda in (the recipe called for baking powder but I didn’t read it that carefully, so after some panicked internet searching I found that I sort of could substitute one for the other. Whatever). Actually, I’m looking at the recipe now and apparently I put everything in out of order. I was supposed to put sugar and oil in first, but actually I put it in last, after cinnamon, vanilla and nutmeg. Let’s see how this little bag of dicks comes out!
I’m not gonna bother taking a picture of a brown square inside a pan, but I will show you the atrocity that my sister created when my back was turned: