Guess what dummies? Granola is cheap as fuck! I know the $8.99 recycled paper bag of artisan agave gojiberry granola says otherwise, but I am horrified to find out how few people my age, people who, like, pay taxes and operate cars and have full time jobs, don’t realize that granola is literally just oats.

Most of the time I am disgusted by those Pinterest recipes that are like, make [insert delicious junk food] at home! Why the fuck would I make my own Poptart when I can literally walk five feet to the Bodega and spend like 50 cents on one? The world is an unfathomable place.

But granola, y’all. It’s four cups of oats to 1/3 cup of oil and 1/2 cup of honey and that’s IT. I added cinnamon and cloves and then baked at 300 degrees for 15 minutes, stirred, then 15 more minutes.


Oh my…that picture is somehow worse than the other ones. Like, it’s somehow both blurry and shows the details enough to make it look gross??? Ugh


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