Mango

mango
(It’s so ominous)

I know I could look up an internet tutorial on how to cut this dummy open, but it seems like even the internet won’t have a truly exhaustive answer. These weird-ass fruits are like a Marx brothers film where Groucho gets a giant present and he opens the box only to find another box, opens that box to find another box, and continues to open the boxes to find that there are only more and more boxes. You cut the mango only to find that there is just more mango inside, and never any pit, just mango! Thanks a lot, Harpo!

Whenever I buy these it’s because they’re on sale at our weird grocery store and my roommates always scoff and say that in Pakistan mangoes are like 10x bigger and 1000x juicier or whatever and I’m like chill, bitch. We have Krispy Kreme.


(Image from marthastewart.com, obvi)

Yeah. fucking. RIGHT! This bitch was not about to come out as a bunch of uniform cubes.

mango_pieces
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And can we just talk about Igor over here?

mango_pit

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One thought on “Mango

  1. I blame my mom, but I would NEVER have mangoes in the U.S. growing up because they weren’t “as good.” BOOOOOOOO. Mangoes are always good. And IMO the best way to eat them is to just cut them however you want and then suck the fruityness off the peel. ❤

    Like

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